The $20 I Can Never Pay Back

A Personal "Pay it Forward" Story
by Dianne Ruth, CCH, PhD

The burly woman slouching in line behind me in the supermarket looked astonished. I had just handed her a quarter that I had found on the floor. I explained, "I am giving you this quarter because I have so much good luck in my life; I feel it’s only right that I share it with others." I also added, "And, whenever you can, you might want to do something to help someone else."

Whenever I find lost change, I pass it on to the person nearest me. If no one is around, I put it in a piggy bank at home–or I did until it became jammed full–now I use a wooden box. What I did not tell the lady was that by giving her that quarter, I was still trying to pay back a $20 loan from many years prior.

It all began on a crisp autumn evening. The charcoal sky was laced with watery blue streaks hugging the horizon. I was in the auto-manufacturing city of Flint, Michigan where faint metallic factory smells hung stubbornly in the air.

It was back during the days when gas was 17 cents a gallon, coffee was still a dime, and a loaf of bread cost a quarter. I was a rebellious, headstrong, and independent girl of 15.

Due to poor judgment–I had trusted someone I had thought to be a friend–I found myself abandoned, alone and broke in a town 50 miles from home.

My intention had been to get away from a domineering, emotionally abusive and controlling mother by running away. I wanted to make a life of my own. I had not expected to be stranded in the process.

I was feeling angry, worried, frightened and embarrassed. Clutching a small worn suitcase, and shivering in my thin summer clothing, I quickened my pace into a nearby service station to get warm. Inside was a casually dressed, older man waiting for his car to be fixed.

We struck up a conversation. Finding him sympathetic and a good listener, I shamefully stammered out my plight. Reaching into his pocket, he fished out a twenty-dollar bill, which he put in my hand.

Following my initial astonishment, I became wary of his generosity. He hastened to reassure me by pointing out, "The only strings attached are that for the rest of your life, anytime you are in a position to, you are to help someone else."

Out of that $20 bill, I was able to move into a charming rooming house for $5 a week. My new landlady sent me to a small restaurant next door where I got work as a short order cook and backup waitress. The job included meals, $5 a day and tips. I was rich and on my own!

I never did return home to live. Sadly, it was not until my early 30s, shortly before my mother died, that we found peace with each other in spite of our stormy relationship. I was finally beginning to learn the lesson of forgiveness and responsibility.

Meantime, I had wandered about the country  doing many kinds of odd jobs. Finally, I settled into a career in the graphics communication industry where I could capitalize on my artistic talent. About twenty years later, after hitting job burnout, I became a massage therapist so I could return to school and become a psychologist.

That was followed by evolving into my current career as an Anxiety/Depression Care Coach & Holistic Counselor.

It seems as if I have come full circle. By following the old adage of what goes around comes around, I am reaping benefits of amazing wealth.

That $20 gift happened many years ago, and true to my word, whenever I can, I give help. I have volunteered thousands of hours to charity, and have setup a "scholarship" fund out of my own pocket in each of my successive businesses to help others in need.

One day many years ago while I was living in Los Angeles, I managed a printing company. A dirty, ragged, homeless man came to the back door looking for handouts. I offered to give him money if he wanted to clean up the area in the alley behind the store.

After that, he came back every week like clockwork; each time he showed up, his appearance started improving. What I finally realized was that he was getting more than money–he was getting back his self-esteem.

Throughout the 15 years, I did volunteer work for the American Red Cross. I spent many hours educating the community in emergency first aid and disaster preparedness. I also did case management work for the victims of disaster.

While I was doing Red Cross case management for the victims of the San Bernardino fires, I had a young woman, 30-something approach me. She was disheveled and obviously in shock. We were working on folding tables in tents. I motioned her to a folding chair by me.

She told how a fireball had struck the back of her home in the mountains causing it to explode as she literally dove out a front window in terror. Brightening, she went on to explain that she was one of the lucky ones, though, because she had just found an apartment in town with huge walk-in closets for all her clothes.

Suddenly she crumpled, tears running down her face, as the impact of what she had just said dawned on her. The realization that she did not have any clothes had finally hit her. Through the Red Cross I helped her replace much of her clothing, furniture and household goods.

Today, I continue to offer my time to various helping organizations.

Long ago I was given the key to abundance and finally discovered how to unlock the power of it in my own and other people’s lives.

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