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Dr. Dianne Ruth

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How to Say "YES" When You Mean "NO"

by Dianne Ruth, PhD

I remember a time when I really needed help with a project. I asked a friend to give me a hand. She coldly retorted, "Sorry but I can't. I have other plans."

When she said that, my emotions spiraled right down into my toes. I felt defeated, hurt and rejected. Obviously, I was not important or special enough for her to change or postpone her plans so she could help me out of an urgent situation.

Think of a memory when you sought assistance from someone and they flatly refused, telling you "no" while using, what felt like some lame excuse. It didn't feel good; it felt bad, didn't it?

We are often told by experts that we have to learn how to say "no" to people who want too much from us.

Usually we give in and agree to do something for someone simply because we really are a nice person, and don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. As a result, we become overloaded and overwhelmed with stress.

What's the answer? Say "yes" and place a condition on your response. Here are some examples. Your child wants to go play video games with a neighbor.

Instead of responding, "No way. Your room is a mess and needs to be cleaned up," which causes your child to feel hurt and angry. Answer instead, "Yes, you can go, as soon as you clean up your room."

A demanding co-worker orders you to go down the street and get him a large latte. You reply, "I would be happy to, as soon as I get this stack of work done for my boss."

An acquaintance wants to borrow your car to impress a date. You tell him, "Sure, as soon as I get it tuned up and my tires replaced."

Suggest to the requesting person that you meet over coffee and talk about other options besides depending on you to help get their needs met.

Maybe they do know someone else who could help them out, or there is an agency they could appeal to, or by changing their approach or timing, they could manage just fine without any help!

By Dianne Ruth, PhD
Doctor of Clinical & Counseling Psychology
Anxiety/Depression Care Coach & Alternative/Holistic Counselor

About the Author

Board Certified Expert in Advanced Hypnosis and Neurolinguistic Progrmming (NLP) and Master Level Board Certified Communicator with Internationally Recognized Credentials, Dr. Dianne Ruth can legitimately boast a 97% Success Rate.

She has coached thousands of clients over the past 37+ years, enriching the success of multi-millionaires and financially strapped students.

Dr. Ruth's private phone practice specializes in short-term, drug-free anxiety and depression recovery. She does this with international, national and local clients by phone with overwhelming success.

For inquires and a Free Personal and Confidential Consultation, call Dr. Dianne Ruth at (619) 961-7500.

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According to the National Institute of Mental Health, psychotherapy only has a 20% success rate.

I have a 97% success rate, and over 37 years experience.

I honor and respect your race, religion, culture, and way of life including senior citizens and those with disabilities.

I also welcome adults in consensual, sane and safe, alternative sexual and other creative lifestyle choices.



Website:  http://www.DynamicResources.net ; http://www.AnxietyCareCoach.com

Email: DrDianneRuth@DynamicResources.net ; DrDianneRuth@AnxietyCareCoach.com

The designated contact and principal office responsible for this website is:
Dianne Ruth, PhD
Dynamic Resources International™
Anxiety Treatment & Care Doctor

Mailing address:

BOX 356

SAN DIEGO CA 92108-3318 USA

Call (619) 961-7500 California USA
Calls are especially welcome between 10 am-7 pm Pacific Time / 7 days including holidays

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4295 Gesner St.
San Diego CA 92117

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